The gemara basically assumes that the p'tur for krias shema can only be the "tirda" of worrying about the obligation to do the b'ilas mitzvah, and therefore on friday night, one would only be exempt if they are allowed to have bi'ah. However, Abbaye says that even one cannot have b'ilas mitzvah on friday night, one opinion would still exempt him from shema. Why? Rashi says "he is in pain (depressed) that he did not have bi'ah". The Rashash deals with the proper girsa in rashi whether it should say "ba'il" with a yud, or "ba'al"; the distinction will be whether the tirda is caused by chazal not allowing him to have bi'ah on friday night itself, or is it caused by him being unsuccessful in having bi'ah on Thursday night. One way or the other, it is an entirely new category of p'tur that we don't find in other places. Normally, we assume the p'tur of a choson from shema is a standard osek b'mitzvah patur... rule, just that we extend it to include even a case where he is not physically involved but is emotionally involved (see rashi succah 26a). But, in the case here, the exemption has nothing to do with osek b'mitzva, rather it has to do with a depression for not being able to do the mitzvah on the previous night (or on that night, as is mashma from tosafos). Nevertheless, it seems to me that depression over not being able to do a mitzvah that has passed, is not an exemption at all. The reason why we consider the exemption of depression to be legitimate is only because the mitzvah is still incumbent upon him to do on motzai shabbos and has not entirely past. Therefore, it is not just depression for the past that exempts him, rather since he is still obligated to do the mitzvah, he can't be told to just overcome his depression (as we say by the boat sinking and by avel); the mitzvah that he is still obligated to do legitimizes his depression for not doing it before and that is why he is patur.
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